No matter how hard I try I always run headfirst into brick wall when it comes to God. I can see that our world and universe weren’t made by accident. That there is a purpose to everything, and to everyone. But how does an all seeing, all knowing God have time for me. When there are billions of people out there, many in bad conditions.
And how can there be so much pain, hurt and evil in a world where a good and just God is ruler? I just have so many questions that make it hard to jump without certainty that I will be caught.
How is it so easy to see that a Divine Being created all things, but so hard to believe in that Being? With every baby, every flower, every star I see a miracle. With every word of the Bible, I see truth. I don’t understand, maybe that’s why I am having so much trouble committing all the way. Because it would mean I’m not in control, I don’t know what my future holds but God does.
I guess I’m also scared. I have made so many mistakes that have to be judged, and I have to face when I die.
I’m just lost because I believe, but fear is holding be back from trusting.